He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
