you win again, gameday.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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