She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
