am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
