shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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