i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
