..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
