This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
