i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
