I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
