WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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