I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
