I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
