Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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