I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
bring money and cleavage
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
