i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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