When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
