I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize