we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
