Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
