He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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