I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
