sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize