Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
