i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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