how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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