I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
