then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize