If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
