I am puke
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
