So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your cock deserves a montage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
