just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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