Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize