im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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