im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My penis needs a shock collar
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
