Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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