I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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