Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize