It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Nicole vs. Life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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