they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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