Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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