Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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