does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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