So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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