smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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