Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
