is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
