you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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