It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
