we're blogging at a bar
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
