After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
