Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
