i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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