Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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