I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
