I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
