I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
