How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
