It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
