all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
