i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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