How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize