just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
