Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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