he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
